I was walking right away after surgery this time, which was really different than any of my other surgeries, and I was in a hard cast. Anyway, about three days into this week, I told mom I wasn't so sure about coming back....this recovery has seemed a lot more difficult than the rest. I am not sure if it is the pain of walking through the whole thing or what, but I am glad that life has it right now that if I need to sleep, I sleep, if I can be on it, i can be on it, but there is no real reason to totally push myself. We decided that was a recovery I really needed, was one where I could focus on me and rough days didn't cause any problems with life. Anywho, back to what this blog post is supposed to really be about!
#2. Graduate College
I had never really questioned whether or not I would go to college, that I can remember. However, I did start worrying about the where I would go to college long before I feel most kids did my age. I wanted something close enough that if life went awry, I could come home, yet far enough away that I did truly feel like I was on my own. I don't even really remember how, but Krystal stumbled upon Hannibal-LaGrange College (now University) and brought home the information. I had been leaning towards a Christian school, and I fell in love with HLG from the brochures. We scheduled a visit day and we were on the road. Three and a half hours seemed like a good distance for independence, yet also a good distance if I needed to get home.
I fell more in love with the campus when we got there. The people, the buildings, the atmosphere. I had decided that I was going to apply, and I was going to put it into God's hands. It was, from what I could see, everything I had been praying for. I applied and got accepted my junior year of high school on the basis that I get at least an 18 on my ACT. I waited until nearly the end of my senior year to take my ACT, because life happened. Right before the deadline to sign up for the first one, I messed up my wrist and was in a brace type thing on that hand. We weren't sure how taking a 4-5 hour test was going to do with that, considering there were no breaks, and anything that helped with the pain made me tired. (I had a ladder come down on it, with someone on that ladder, during a youth group service project....it tingled for a second, then I went back to what I was doing, for like the next week or so it hurt, so mom took me to get it checked out. They didn't think it was fractured, it just never did really heal). So as deadlines kept coming, and going, I was still in this brace. Finally, in March, I decided that it was do or die...I had to sign up because I had college acceptance riding on it. I ended up taking the test.....in a brace.....the weekend before state bible drill....and getting over the score I needed for college! I was accepted!
Little did I know, that this was only the first hurdle in a series of four years that college was going to throw at me. Fancy that, college was kicking my butt before I even got there. I got my roommate assignment, and upon finding out I was roomed with a cheerleader, and I was devastated. I figured her and I would have NOTHING in common, and it would be the worst first year of my life....and you never get to have that do over. So I talk to her on facebook a bit, we exchange numbers, and it started out simple enough....i have this, you have that, who wants to bring a TV, etc. Then after all that, we just started to get to know one another, and I realized I was dead wrong about this girl....Sorry, Jules. I realized that I was in for the biggest ride of my life, and I was going to have this awesome friend by my side. So that was one worry off the list....I had the most down to earth roommate in the entire world, and it was going to be good! On move in day, both our sets of parents stayed to help a bit, move furniture, etc., then they left us to get to know both each other and the other people on the hall. When Julie an dI started to unpack some of the things we had to hang on the walls, we just about died....we had accidentally brought perfectly matching wall decor, and blankets. I think we both really knew at that point that we were going to be ok.
(Jules and I rocking our Halloween outfits)
(a normal picture of Julie and I)
About two weeks or so into college, I started to get really sick. The advantage to having a sister on campus, is that she can take care of you when you are sick. I ended up freaking her out one day when I got sick, to the point that she called my parents, met them halfway, and they brought me to a doctor here. WE got the answer we needed, got me better, and I went back to school. I started having some intense stomach pain, but decided to push through until Thanksgiving and see a doctor over break, which was a few days away. Upon seeing that doctor, he recommended a surgeon for the gall bladder, and his first opening happened to be my first day of Christmas break. The next couple weeks were rough, but I managed to push through. I get to the surgeons office, and he had gotten the results of all my blood work and scans and sonograms and he decided that my gall bladder should have come out months ago, and wanted to put me on the schedule for the next morning. I call mom and dad, they get squared away with work and we were doing this....three days before Christmas lol. Surgery went great, recovery went fine, I was back to school on time, no big. I dealt with this mass thing showing up on my intestine for the greater part of the following semester and it was found to not be anything.
I went into my sophomore year thinking that it HAD to be better than the first year I had. I had managed to make some good memories, but anything had to top surgery over Christmas break lol. I was rooming with my best friend (which is really when I learned that my relationships with people, work better when I have time away from you. Also, with mutual respect, but mostly time away from people. But the two of us ran the same schedule...worked together...neither of us went home a whole lot....we even had some classes together.) and we were set before the year even began of who would bring what. It was almost guaranteed to be a great time! I was being a team leader that year, so I actually moved in first, and so a lot of our room was actually set up when she got there. I was also an active part of Student Activities, and one of our most popular events, is the welcome week concert. After a day of team leading, and helping my roommate move in, the two of us along with some others, were helping to set up for said concert. There was an extension cord taped down on the stage, and I managed to trip and fall over it and off the front of the stage. Anyone who knows me would not even be surprised by this clumsy act at all, nor the stubborn that followed when I decided I would try to WALK IT OFF!
We had a friend that was an EMT and he was looking at it, and poking around on it, and I was crying. He told me he thought I should go to the ER, get it looked at, and see what they could do about bracing it. I told him no and he then made a deal with me, that if I could walk on it, he would let it go. I don't know if what I did to follow that would really be considered walking, but on the promise that if it still hurt the next day, he could take me to urgent care, he agreed to let me try just elevating, icing, and wrapping it. I woke up the next day and it actually felt a little better, so I tried to go about my day. Before lunch, I ended up in urgent care, unable to wiggle my toes....it was a good time, and it made for a really funny picture!
(Funny Story about this shirt.....I didn't realize it until I was looking through pictures, but I wore the same shirt to my first surgery, and then my first knee surgery, and wore it to the hospital for my second ankle surgery....so now i have dubbed it the surgery shirt and have continued to wear it to each of my surgeries lol)
I digress, I got put in a stirrup type brace and put on crutches, which I had never used before, and was sent to a surgeons office. I would just like to point out that that room I had that I loved so much, the one with my best friend, yeah....it was on the third floor......there was no elevator, and we were not able to switch rooms within our building, and moving rooms to another dorm, would have meant getting a new room mate....and the doctors were assuring me that this would be for a few weeks tops! I called my parents about the surgeon, and my daddy took the day off to come up, see the surgeon, and take me out to lunch....then move my room if it was needed.
(At one point, I had my bed right by my window in my room. When I got the boot, I was terrified that I was going to put my foot through the window, so my roommate suggested we rearrange. So we did. Notice though, I still followed doctor's orders, my foot is not on the ground....I helped rearrange while still remaining non weight bearing....it was great!)
The surgeon upgraded me from a stirrup brace to a walking boot, but made me keep the crutches for six weeks. Dad took me out to Mexican, then he started the drive home, and I started the trek up three flights of stairs....while not putting weight on my foot. I think we reached our destinations about the same time lol. At my follow up, I was told that the foot wasn't quite healed, and I needed to stay in a walking boot and on the crutches for six more weeks. The difference this time, was adding therapy to progress back towards walking, and seeing the surgeon each week. I do that and still get told at 6 weeks that I need an additional six weeks, and an MRI, and pending what that says, I can start to progress towards walking without the crutches over the next two weeks. I was going home for Christmas break, so the therapist gave me some stretches to do while I was home, to follow up with him when I got back and dad (who loves me and came down for my appointment because I couldn't drive and he was taking me home for break) suggested that while we were home, we get a second opinion. I did that, and ended up in a lace up brace and a knee brace for the knee pain I had been telling the doctors about since my first surgeon appointment. The second opinion came from Dr. Barnthouse, who is the on-call surgeon for the KC Chiefs. I would have run into traffic if he had told me to. He told me to follow up with the surgeon in Hannibal if anymore problems arose, but to keep wearing the brace on the ankle as long as pain told me to. I ended up wearing both of those braces for a little over the whole semester. A couple weeks into my time home, my activity level had subsided enough that for the most part, I could go without them and be pretty well pain free and work on building up my muscles.
During my junior year, it started out alright. There were a few days within those first couple weeks that I told mom i could definitely feel I had overdone it. However, I was in a suite style room meaning I had to share a bathroom with another person, but not a room. Anyhow, this meant that I could lay down and ice without worrying about being disturbed. I saw my family doctor over Christmas break, who suggested I go back into the boot for a bit, that maybe college was still just a little much on my foot. I did that until spring break and over spring break, I was told that I could come out of it. It was a night and day difference, which prompted my feeling that if I wrapped it, due to the excess walking, I could go to Young Christian's Weekend in Branson. After all, Tenth Avenue North and Chris August were both going to be there, and I DID NOT want to miss that concert! I wrapped my foot and after the first day, I was alright, a little bit of pain, but some tylenol and ice fixed me right up, my knee was actually more painful than anything. So the next morning I got some breakfast, wrapped my ankle and set out for Silver Dollar City again. We walked around the park and rode some rides before the worship service started and then the part that I had been anticipating all weekend....the concert. During the worship service, after we sat back down for the message, (feet flat on the ground, on a bleacher), Matt looked over at me and asked if I was ok....my face was white and I was half holding my breath, half trying not to cry. I told him that I had felt a pop in my ankle and it started to swell. He went on the lookout for a bag of ice, and asked at a drink stand within the park, who notified paramedics. They got me out of my seat and sat down on some steps so they could look at it. As they poked around, I thought I was going to die from the pain.....it was awful. They said that where the pain was at (top of my foot where your leg meets your ankle and right next to my ankle joint, as well as all the way down the outside of my foot, and right near the back of the ankle) they felt I needed to go to Urgent Care. There was only one problem....they had no way to get me from where I was, to where I needed to be for either a golf cart to pick me up, or a car. I couldn't put weight down on my foot, and my two options were the stairs down the ampitheater, or the ramp and a quarter mile hop to the shuttle station. I opted that with help, the stairs would be easier....I would be going down, and then a car was going to meet up right off to the side of the stage. Matt and Brittany grabbed my stuff and we were off. Matt Walked in front, and I had a paramedic on each side, and Brittany followed with my backpack, my shoe, and my ice pack.
We called around trying to find an urgent care that was open, and that is way more difficult on a Sunday than one would think! We ended up finding one, and Matt dropped Brittany and I off while he went to put gas in the car for the drive home. After nearly an hour wait, the doctor comes in.....pokes three spots, puts me in a stirrup brace, told me to follow up with my primary care in a week and sent me home. They didn't do x-rays or anything. They said I could walk on it, and so I stumbled out of the room with Brittany holding my hand, and Matt met us in the waiting room. I got in the car, called mom, who called the doctor's office and left a message, and after some food and medicine (800 mg of Ibprofen that helped a bit with the swelling and 500 mg of tylenol that didn't really touch a thing, rotated) we were on our way back to the school. A week later, mom made the trek to come pick me up for Easter break, and take me home. I went home Thursday, and went to the doctor, and I only remember that because my birthday was on Friday. My Primary care put me in a boot, and prescribed me both pain killers and an anti-inflammatory. He also recommended I set up with an ankle surgeon after I got done with school. My brother had had to get some foot work done, and the surgeon he went to was awesome and mom loved his work, so we went there, he was able to get me in the day after I got back home. I pushed through the next few weeks of school, in more pain than I ever care to have in my life, and with the help of friends, and a very loving daddy, got all packed and home. I went to my appointment and to no surprise, we did a new MRI. The MRI showed nothing, and the doctor suggested we try a little longer in the walking boot, and see if the problem went away on its own. He also gave me a cortizone shot. A month later I was back in his office and he suggested another try at an MRI, only this one we would add contrast and see what happened. We did that and lo and behold, it showed a tear in a tendon. This was both good and bad news. It meant surgery, but it meant we had been given a fixable answer. I had to be off of my anti-inflamatory for at least two weeks before surgery, and so we set surgery for July 19. the whole time leading up to it, I was so nervous.....recovery time was 5 weeks, and from surgery date, to move in date, was only 6.
(At least, even though I have spent forever in recovery, the first doctor's bandages were fun :p
That was the appointment a week after the surgery. He was checking the stitches and such.....notice....injury shirt lol)
I got surgery and there was apparently more than that one tear according to what the doctor told mom. I went on my road to recovery and counted down the days until I would be off the crutches, and in my own two shoes. My prayers were answered with what we thought was a textbook recovery, and I was in my own two shoes, no brace, after 5 weeks and a couple of days. There was minor pain before I returned back to school, but we were told that was totally normal, and he suggested therapy when I got back to help with the length of time I was immobile. I called, made the appointment, and I was flying high in the fact that I might actually be done. I was determined to make this year the best year yet, despite the fact that my cousin's baby was in the hospital.
(The first time after surgery that I was able to wear two shoes again.....less that a week before my senior year of college started!)
I called my mom my very first day of classes in tears. My foot hurt so bad, and pain medicine wasn't making it any better, and it had swelled so much that I couldn't even get my foot back in my shoe for my afternoon class. I calmed down enough to call the doctor and ask what his suggestions were, if any. They suggested I go back into the boot, that maybe the uprise in activity level had freaked it a bit. I did that and after 4 weeks, when there hadn't been really any improvement to the pain or swelling, they suggested I come back in. I set the appointment and coordinated with mom since I wasn't able to move the ankle like I needed to be able to, in order to drive.
I came home, and after a second cortizone shot, and still being in large amounts of pain, the surgeon noticed that I walk super weird. So he recommends a knee surgeon, which sounds crazy, but made sense upon explanation. Joints are affect typically by the joint directly above and below them....especially in the legs, so if my knee was having issues, seeing as how it still hurt, then that could be showing in my ankle pain. So I made an appointment with the knee surgeon, and called my family doctor about an MRI. I was home for Baby Hope's funeral (my cousin's baby) and so I figured if I got the MRI out of the way, it would eliviate a step. So that is what we did, and when I made it into the appointment, we were told that surgery was definitely needed and I scheduled it for Fall break in October, after being told that the surgery is typically 5 day recovery, and I would walk right away. Mom and dad again made the trek to Hannibal to pick me up for fall break, since my car was already home getting some much needed repairs. I had knee surgery to remove some excess material that had been there my whole life and was grinding into my knee every time I bent my knee (we ended up finding out that that was what was wrong on the other knee, as well as missing cartilage. On the other side they had to fracture it to fix it....it was crazy!). The surgery went well, and the recovery went fantastic as well. The surgeon suggested I keep the boot for a few weeks, then ease my foot into walking, now that everything was fixed. I was told this would change how I walked significantly.
(pre surgery....don't judge my hair, they make you take it down before surgery!)
(I can thank being able to do my knee surgery laproscopically for the very short recovery time, and pretty effortless recovery.)
I went back to school with a heavy heart over the loss of Hope still, but a renewed spirit that the foot journey was soon going to be a story that I would look back at and laugh about at graduation only a semester away....but still feeling like a lifetime. I worked with the physical therapist to transition back out of the boot, and we very quickly realized that was never going to happen. After a call between the therapist and the surgeon, it was decided that we would try one more cortizone shot to the ankle, as well as a shot that is designed to deaden the nerves a bit in that area. At this point, we were simply aiming for comfort. I went back home...again....and got the shots. After two weeks of no relief, the surgeon suggested a second opinion as he was out of ideas. I was set up with a surgeon a good hour or so (in good traffic) away from where I live. We decided the drive was worth it if we could get the answers we wanted. I pushed in my first appointment (which was over Christmas break) that I was finishing school, and I was attending graduation. None of that was up for debate unless they could give me a REALLY good reason.
His suggestion was a different kind of pain shot, that was designed to deaden the joint itself. It would help with the pain, but leave it completely functional. It was painful, but the sweet thought of pain relief got me through. We kept my foot in a brace as added support, and he wanted to see me before I headed back to school a month later. The shot *spoiler alert* did nothing in terms of pain relief and when I returned, there were actually more painful parts of my foot and I was up to 5 direct areas of pain. After many more trial and error methods, it was decided that because I was student teaching this whole time, he would let me stay out of a cast until after graduation. I was in my lace up brace, since the pain wasn't better or worse with the boot, and I wanted something that allowed for ease during teaching. The brace was really just good for keeping the swelling contained and keeping my foot from being able to roll the whole way. I graduated college on a Saturday, and had my foot casted that Monday.
(a few pictures to sum up the day.....I feel the fist in the air was the best reaction to graduating....and if you are reall paying attention, you will see that I was allowed to not wear my brace, because I didn't want to with a dress :p)
Here are a few pictures that show a little bit of life after college surrounding this foot and the other knee
(Like I said, it got casted right after graduation, and Chritopher wanted to be the first to sign my first ever cast, so we stopped at his work on the way home)
After the cast did nothing, I ended up at yet another surgeon, and after two MRI's and a shot directly into the ankle joint (which is an all new kind of pain i hope none of you ever have to experience), I ended up in ankle surgery number two for the same tendons, and they found new damage and fixed it
(I won't put up incision pictures, as some of my friends may be a bit squeemish!)
about 6 months later.....directly following a vacation, I had knee surgery on the left side....same issue as the right side, but we had to wait until I was walking, which took awhile. Then they found a missing cartilage spot as well, and they had to microfracture all around it to fix it. They said had it been any lower, I would have had to do crutches, so that would have been fun.....crutches in a boot, believe it or not, it can be done....but that would have just been the icing on my disaster cake!
(Isaac loved playing doctor during this recovery. He helped change band-aids, and put on compression sleeves, and help with my boot. He loved it, and he really liked getting to go to the appointments and see everything. I don't think he could have gotten closer had he tried when they took out my stitches. they loved him at the office.)
(I got put in a cast beteen surgery number 2 and 3 when I rolled my ankle....in a brace....that is what delayed knee surgery #2....I was on crutches recovering)
(Grace and Isaac loved signing all my different casts :)
Also, I was crutching one day, and my left knee locked back (one of the many issues I was having before surgery) and it caused me to put my right foot into a doorway. I hit the corner of this doorway and cracked my cast....it was awful. this has just been the type of journey I have had with this silly foot and these silly knees.)
(A couple of post op pictures from this most recent foot surgery, and a get well card that came in the form of my sister-in-law working on her cake decorating skills :) )
That's the thing folks.....three foot surgeries, three different surgeons.....two knee surgeries, two different surgeons. Plus a gall bladder, plus the wisdom teeth. I think I am done with surgeries forever, and hopefully God and I are on the same page there! lol
I guess that if God is going to give me this cross to bear, He at least blessed me with the best cheering squad. I couldn't have chosen them better if I tried!
Oh, Nicole. I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time. I've been praying for you so much. <3 I'm so glad you can still have fun, joke, and have a good time.
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